The President Writes.
The Past President Writes – Not Gone Yet!

Yippee!

Given that any other thoughts I might have made at the time are not printable in a family magazine, I can safely report that “yippee!” was the first sound in my head at the recent AGM, hosted with the usual efficiency by London Branch, after Brenda Peters was duly elected as your god (sorry good) Executive President for the next 2 years. So, after I handed over the “Presidential Chain” to Brenda, who, I may say, looked very pleased to have it (but not half as glad as I was to give it to her), I was very considerably nonplussed when David Deacon handed me a similar piece of jewellery. Well, as I’m sure you know (and I suppose I should have as well, but I was two glasses of Magners up and hadn’t really twigged), it was the “Immediate Past President” thingy and so I’m still here.

Bugger!

Of course the first thing I had to do, after I realised what peril I was in, was to ask the two previous incumbents present what a Past President was for. I am happy to report that I got similar replies from both David Deacon and John O’Shea and am relieved that I appear to be very well qualified to be a Past President. Indeed, I think I am almost certainly better qualified to be Past President than I was to be President. In fact, I am sure that I will make a better Past President than many other previous incumbents I can think of. You see, the Past President’s job is to on take the role of the fly in the ointment, the stone in the shoe, the lobber of rocks in the pond, etc.; basically, to be a grumpy bugger. All you have to do is ask my colleagues in Manchester – I have at last found my metier.

Yippee!

What am I going to do now? Well, one thing I considered would be to sit in the corner at Trustee meetings muttering under my breath about how the Institute is going to the dogs; tremendous fun, but not very helpful. Better might be to disappear and let the new lot get on with it, which is also an extremely attractive, albeit not very useful, option. However, I think I’m just going to have to be boring and attempt to transcend my natural instincts. So I am going to promise to provide as much support and assistance to Brenda and the other Trustees as I can (as, indeed, everyone else did for me over the last two years).

Onto merrier things …

Last year, you might remember that I handed out a few gongs. This year I wanted to repeat the process for my retirement honours. Thus, the Strictly Presidential Jury was duly incarcerated in the Big Blaster House to consider the candidates’ Potential (or No Potential) in order to find out whether they had The Rust Factor. Unfortunately there was a Breakdown in passivity with everyone arguing so much they got Paint In Their Eyes and eventually all demanding: “I’m a Corrosionist Get Me Out Of Here”. This was really disappointing because I believe we should be In It To Inhibit It, provided The CP Is Right. No matter, Have I Got ICATS For You and Who Wants To Be An Elcometer anyway?

Thanks to:

Steve Mabbutt, Keith Umpleby, Brian Wyatt, John O’Shea, Bob Akid, David Harvey, Douglas Mills, Christopher O’Shea, Dave Griffiths, Heather Rutter, Gill Inwood, Brendan Fitzsimons, Roger Hudson, David Deacon, David Storey, Jim Burnell-Gray, John Nicholls, Sue Impey, Brenda Peters, John Fletcher, Bill Cox, Trevor Osbourne, Cerri Sweet, Brian Weston, Tony Collins, Martin Dawson, Lance Williams, Keith Ross, the Branches, Ken and Barry at IMF, Chris at OCCA, Geoff Bowden, Alex Smale, Bob Cottis, The Bank Manager, Jonathan Phillips, the Membership, my Boss, my Students, my Colleagues …

All of these, and more, have contributed either directly to the Institute, or helped me invaluably over the past two years. I thank them for their support and owe them all a pint. If I have missed anyone, then I’m sorry and I owe you two pints.

Happy Christmas and Hogmany everyone.

Stuart Lyon
“Ex-Presidente”

16th November 2006